I’m talking bad funk. The Super Funk. Would-rather-just-go-right-back-to-bed-the-moment-I-wake-up-so-that-I-don’t-have-to-look-at-my-To-Do-List funk.
Even though I love my “Me Time,” I usually drag my socially awkward butt into public just to be around the hustle and bustle of other human beings.
So this quarantine’s got me struggling. And I’m betting you’re struggling with it too.
For those of you who need a little pick-me-up, here’s my epic recipe to un-funk yourself during the quarantine.
It comes in four stages: Stage 1 (Un-Funkify Yourself), Stage 2 (Your Room Is A Wreck), Stage 3 (Let Go Of The Baggage), and Stage 4 (Make Room To Enjoy).
Stage 1: Un-Funkify Yourself
1. Wash your sheets.
Go tear your sheets off your bed and throw them in the washing machine.
Put your phone down and go do it immediately.
2. Put on your favorite music.
Alright, with your sheets in the wash, it’s time to get your favorite tunes on.
I highly recommend something upbeat and cheerful rather than your favorite indie break-up songs.
3. Take a break from social media.
That’s right. Maybe you’ll be so daring as to uninstall Facebook, Instagram, and SnapChat from your actual phone. Maybe you’ll adjust your alerts so those annoying red bubbles stop stressing you out. Or maybe you’ll just close the window for now.
Taking a step back from social media can help you cope with the feelings of overwhelm and reduce your informational overload for the moment. There is a lot to take in lately, but as long as you’re staying safe in your home, there’s no reason to check your phone more than once a day.
4. Drink a big glass of water.
Almost always the easiest fix. Go get a fresh glass for your bathroom and bottoms-up a big, cold glass of water.
5. Light a candle.
If you’ve got a favorite candle, get it burning. Stat.
It’s one of the key ingredients in Danish hygge and instantly adds a feeling of comfort and warmth to your room.
6. Put the kettle on, and make a cup of tea or coffee.
Two steps here, but they go hand in hand. Get that comforting kettle boiling, and make yourself a comforting drink.
7. Grab some olive oil and slather it all over that greasy, greasy hair of yours.
And then put a little shower cap, towel, or plastic bag over your hair.
YOUR HAIR, NOT YOUR HEAD, NOT YOUR FACE, NOT YOUR NOSE, NOT YOUR MOUTH.
Swear on my coffee, y’all better not be putting plastic bags on your heads.
8. If you like to shave, shave!
Faces, legs, arms, feet, booty, armpits, whatever…
If you like to shave but you’ve been skipping it during quarantine, maybe it’ll cheer you up to give some TLC to those areas.
9. Go throw your sheets in the dryer. Wash your comforter if it’s washable.
10. Make a body scrub.
Mix 1 part gross old coffee grounds, 1 part coconut oil, and 1 part brown sugar. Put it in a little jar with a lid, and set it aside for now.
11. While you’re at it, make a face scrub.
Mix a tablespoon of ground oatmeal (put it in your blender, yo), a tablespoon of brown sugar, a tablespoon of honey, and a tablespoon of oil (like jojoba or coconut). Put it in another cute jar!
12. Oh boy, alright, last one while we’re in the kitchen: make a lip scrub.
Mix a tablespoon of honey, a tablespoon of coconut oil, and a tablespoon of brown sugar. Yes, mama, put it in a jar. And then grab your three little jars, cause we’re about to…
13. Take a shower. Even better, take a bubble bath.
You heard me, you filthy animal!
Just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean I don’t know you haven’t showered in four days!
When I was struggling with depression, taking a shower was always difficult.
And it was also a good indicator that depression was about to rear its ugly little head.
So take your yummy scrubs to the shower or tub, fetch your shampoo to wash all of that olive oil out of your hair, and spend some much-needed time in the warm water.
14. Put on clothes that you DID NOT WEAR YESTERDAY.
I repeat, do not even think about wearing those sweatpants you were wearing before you got into the shower. I do not care if they aren’t dirty or that you love to lounge around in them. You can put those bad boys back on tomorrow.
For now, put on something different.
15. Even better, put on clothes that you’d actually wear outside of your home.
16. Makeup time?
Do you like doing your makeup? Have you ever wanted to do your makeup but felt like you’re not allowed to wear makeup?
Now’s your chance. Do it.
I mean, it’s not like anyone is going to come over and surprise you while your face is covered in bad eye shadow experiments.
17. Clip your nails, and paint ‘em if you like that.
18. Laundry time again.
Probably time to put your sheets back on your bed.
Throw your comforter in the dryer.
Why not toss a load of dirty laundry in the wash while you’re in there?
Stage 2: Your Room’s A Wreck
Alright, the bed’s made, the music is pumping, that candle smells awesome.
You got some coffee in you, made a bumper crop of scrubbies, shaved, cleaned, and got yourself all fancy. That’s a day well spent.
Oh, wait, you’re still in a funk? You want something else to do?
19. Go through your room and pick up every single dirty dish.
20. Pick up every little piece of trash. Empty your bathroom trashcan too.
21. Collect every piece of dirty laundry on that floor of yours.
22. Hang up any clean clothes that might be hanging out in laundry baskets.
During funky episodes, it’s especially easy to let your living space fall apart. I’ve been there myself. But I’ve also found that it can be such a relief to just get those few pieces of your room back in order—if only for a while.
23. Water your houseplants.
They’re probably needing some TLC, just like you. Make sure they’re in a sunny window as the angle of the sun starts to change this time of year
24. Tidy up all of the surfaces in your room (bedside table, dresser, etc.). Maybe dust them or wipe them down.
25. Go find your pets and see what they’re doing. Play with them for a bit.
26. Alright, sweep, Swiffer, or vacuum that nonsense off of your floor.
27. Boy, if you have the tools in your home, now would be an awesome time to mop your floor or shampoo your carpets.
28. Windex the windows and let all that beautiful light inside.
29. Ask yourself the last time you washed your curtains. And then maybe wash them.
30. Find a sunbeam and lay down in it for a while.
Open the window and listen to the birds. And if you’re in the southern hemisphere, put on a big sweater and look outside for leaves changing color.
Stage 3: Let Go Of The Baggage
If cleaning your room wasn’t enough, why not just go ahead and minimize all of that stuff you have lying around?
31. Organize your makeup kit, and throw away any old makeup.
If you don’t know how old your makeup is, just get out a Sharpie, date it for today, and use that as your gauge. Better than nothing.
The expiration dates for products vary a bit. Damp products used close to your eyes expire the quickest due to the fact that they’re a wonderful breeding ground for bacteria.
Check back after 3 months (mascara, liquid eyeliner, gel eyeliner), 12 months (liquid foundation if you don’t touch fingers to it), 12-18 months (concealer, cream shadows, and cream blushes), 18-24 months (lip gloss), and 24 months (eye and lip pencils, lipstick, lip gloss, and powders like blushes, bronzers, and shadows).
32. Why not do a skin cleanse?
I started doing a skin cleanse at the beginning of March, eliminating all products from my face except for Dr. Bronner’s soap and jojoba oil. I also stopped eating sugar, chocolate, peanut butter, and bad carbs.
It seriously changed my face!
And then the quarantine got me so stressed that I ate 15 gallons of peanut butter, a whole bag of pretzels, and 20 trays of brownies.
Why not use this super-private time to give your angry face a break. Maybe your face has changed since you first started wearing makeup, and you’ve never given it the space to heal before.
33. While you’re at it, bag up all of the products that are bad for you.
Anything that contains parabens, sodium laureth sulfate, fragrance, DMDM hydantoin, triclosan, polysorbates, potassium sorbate, phenoxyethanol, retinyl palmitate, dimethicone, behentrimonium chloride, polyethylene glycol, or quaternium-15 is a good place to start.
34. Clean out your bedside table drawer.
When was the last time you actually looked in there? Clean it out so that it only has the things you need when you’re in bed.
35. Turn all of your hangers backward in your closet.
An old trick, but a good one. Turn everything backward right now. When you wear and wash an article of clothing, turn the hanger forwards when you hang it up.
Next year this time, look back through and see what clothing you’ve ignored for a whole year.
Maybe it’s time to let it go.
36. Go through all of your socks, underwear, and bras.
37. Go through all of your shirts.
38. Go through all of your sweaters and jackets.
39. Go through all of your pants, shorts, and skirts.
40. Go through your shoes.
41. Go through your swimsuits and athletic wear.
42. Go through your jewelry and sunglasses.
43. Go through your hats, scarves, and mittens.
44. Maybe take a look under your bed too.
45. Do the whole house if you’re feeling extra daring.
There is so much I could continue to put on this part of the list, but I think you get the gist.
The best place to start is always your closet and drawers because it’s how you start every single day.
But if you’re feeling the momentum, just start dumping out drawers around your house. Only put the things back in the drawer that you actually want, and stick the rest in a cardboard box to donate once quarantine is over.
Stage 4: Make Space To Enjoy
Alright, organizing time is done, because that was super stressful.
46. Read a favorite book.
Are you able to go outside safely? Do you have a yard? Go find your favorite book and read it outside in the sunshine. Breathe in the fresh air.
Or if it’s late at night, why not put on your favorite comfy socks, heat up a rice bag, and curl up with your book inside?
47. Call a friend or a parent or grandparent.
Check-in on them, and then talk about things other than the quarantine.
48. Write down 10 things that you are grateful for at this very moment.
(Being healthy is a good one to start with!)
49. Play some video games with your friends, especially if you can have a group chat going while you do it.
50. If you play an instrument, why not get it out and play for a while?
51. Go find your pet again and give them a squeeze. YAY.
Unless they’re a fish. Then just wiggle your finger at them.
52. Find a positive affirmation, and make it your phone background.
53. Bake something.
If you’ve never baked before, don’t be afraid! Most things are very easy to bake.
The easiest thing you could make would be some cake mix cookies if you’ve got an old cake mix lying around your house.
54. Or if that seems too scary, make a mug cake.
55. If that seems too easy, why not try making a sourdough starter from scratch?
56. Cook something tasty and delicious, even if it’s not that good for you.
57. Take a little nap.
58. Write a letter to someone.
Even if you can’t get out of the house to mail it for a few weeks, it’s comforting to slow down enough to write a letter.
Or send an email and start a correspondence with a friend that’s also on quarantine right now.
59. Video chat with one of your friends for a WHOLE DAY.
Keep their video up on your laptop and carry them around with you.
Don’t feel like you need to talk the whole time. Just hang out together.
Maybe make all of your face products and baked goods together.
60. Go do a 15-minute yoga video for beginners, and be kind to yourself.
61. Count how many birds go by your window in 10 minutes.
Do you know what kind of birds they are? Why not find out?
Or give them different names that make sense to you?
62. If it’s safe to get outside of your home, why not go for a walk down the street or in a park?
Most of the quarantines in place permit outdoor recreation, even in the UK where one form of outdoor activity is permitted every day.
63. Order seeds on Amazon, and sprinkle them in your garden when they get here.
64. Create a vision board on Pinterest or Tumblr.
Do people still use Tumblr? Who knows? Why don’t you find out?
65. Do a home workout, and get your blood flowing.
66. Try making something that you’ve never made before.
Macrame? Henna tattoos? Bath bombs? Herbal tea?
67. Learn something new.
There are so many things online that you can learn for free! Just do a search for something you’re interested in!
One of my favorite videos of all time was a 20-minute long video of a beekeeper looking for his queen bee. I still come back and watch it when I’m stressed out.
68. Build a website or start a blog.
69. Get out your art supplies, and make something beautiful.
70. Do a brain dump.
Literally, get out a piece of paper or your laptop and rant until you have nothing left to write.
Sometimes my brain dumps start with me ranting, switch to me doing math and calculations, usually have a doodle section, turn into a To-Do list, and sometimes, I write affirmations.
Whatever you need to do to get all of that nonsense out of your brain for a while.
71. Unfollow negative social media accounts.
This was one of the best things I ever did.
Go through all of your social media profiles, and unfollow any profile that no longer serves you.
You can still remain friends with people on Facebook, but there’s no need for them to pop up in your feed if you don’t have things in common anymore.
Give yourself space to change and grow.
72. Start a new habit.
Maybe it’s waking up early, doing yoga, journaling, exercising, drinking a big glass of water, studying a foreign language, reading for 30 minutes a day, not watching Netflix, eating enough vegetables, quitting caffeine, making a budget, writing down your goals, giving yourself compliments, or getting out and hiking in nature.
We don’t know how long we’ll be at home, so why not use the time wisely to invest in yourself?
73. Watch the sunrise or sunset.
Take a moment from doing anything, and just sit with the beauty of nature.
Take a deep breath.
It’s going to be okay.